February 23rd, 2008
- Every sentence should make sense in isolation. Like that one.
- Excessive hyperbole is literally the kiss of death.
- ASBMAETP: Acronyms Should Be Memorable And Easy To Pronounce, and SATAN: Select Acronyms That Are Non-offensive.
- Finish your point on an up-beat note, unless you can’t think of one.
- Don’t patronise the reader-he or she might well be intelligent enough to spot it.
- A writer needs three qualities: creativity, originality, clarity and a good short term memory.
- Choose your words carefully and incitefully.
- Avoid unnecessary examples; e.g. this one.
- Don’t use commas, to separate text unnecessarily.
- It can be shown that you shouldn’t miss out too many details.
- Similes are about as much use as a chocolate teapot.
- Avoid ugly abr’v'ns.
- Spellcheckers are not perfect; they can kiss my errs.
- Somebody once said that all quotes should be accurately attributed.
- Americanisms suck.
- Capitalising for emphasis is UGLY and DISTRACTING.
- Underlining is also a big no-no.
- Mixed metaphors can kill two birds without a paddle.
- Before using a cliché, run it up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes.
- There is one cheap gimmick that should be avoided at all costs…………..suspense.
- State your opinions forcefully-this is perhaps the key to successful writing.
- Never reveal your sources (Alistair Watson, 1993).
- Pile on lots of subtlety.
- Sure signs of lazy writing are incomplete lists, etc.
- Introduce meaningless jargon on a strict need-to-know basis.
- The word “gullible” possesses magic powers and hence it should be used with care.
- The importance of comprehensive cross-referencing will be covered elsewhere.
- Resist the temptation to roll up the trouser-legs of convention, cast off the shoes and socks of good taste, and dip your toes refreshingly into the cool, flowing waters of fanciful analogy.
- Don’t mess with Mr. Anthropomorphism.
- Understatement is a mindblowingly effective weapon.
- Injecting enthusiasm probably won’t do any harm.
- It is nice to be important, but it is more important to avoid using the word `nice.’
- Appropriate metaphors are worth their weight in gold.
- Take care with pluri.
- If you can’t think of the exact word that you need, look it up in one of those dictionary-type things.
- Colons: try to do without them.
- Nouns should never be verbed.
- Do you really think people are impressed by rhetorical questions?
- Pick a font, and stick with it.
- Sufficient clarity is necessary, but not necessarily sufficient.
- Less is more. This means that a short, cryptic statement is often preferable to an accurate, but drawn out, explanation that lacks punch and loses the reader.
- Sarcasm-yes, I bet that will go down really well.
- The problem of ambiguity cannot be underestimated.
- Never appear cynical, unless you’re sure you can get away with it.
- Many writer’s punctuate incorrectly.
- Colloquialisms are for barmpots.
- There is a lot to be said for brevity.
- To qualify is to weaken, in most cases.
- Many readers assume that a word will not assume two meanings in the same sentence.
- Be spontaneous at regular intervals.
- The era of the euphemism is sadly no longer with us.
- Want to be funny? Just add some exclamation marks!!!
- Want to appear whimsical? Simply append a smiley
- Some writers introduce a large number, N, of unnecessary symbols.
- Restrict your hyphen-usage.
- Choosing the correct phrase is important compared to most things.
- Some early drafts of this document had had clumsy juxtapositions.
- Try not to leave a word dangling on its own
- line.
- The number of arbitrary constants per page should not exceed .13.
- Use mathematical jargon iff it is absolutely necessary.
- And avoid math symbols unless ? a good reason.
- Poor writing effects the impact of your work.
- And the dictionary on your shelf was not put there just for affect.
- If there’s a word on the tip of your tongue that you can’t quite pin down, use a cinnamon.
- If somebody were to give me a pound for every irrelevant statement I’ve ever read, then I would be very surprised.
- Strangely enough, it is impossible to construct a sentence that illustrates the meaning of the word `irony.’
- Consult a writing manual to assure that your English is correct.
- It has been suggested that some words are absolute, not relative. This is very true.
- Be careful when forming words into a sentence-all orderings are not correct.
- Many words can ostensibly be deleted.
- In your quest for clarity, stop at nothing.
- Complete mastery of the English language comes with conscientious study, notwithstanding around in bars. Moreover the next page. Inasmuch detail as possible.
- Sporting analogies won’t even get you to first base.
- If you must quote, quote from one of the all-time greats (Cedric.P. Snodworthy, 1964).
- In the absence of a dictionary, stick to words of one syllabus.
- Steer clear of word-making-up-ism.
- Readers will not stand for any intolerance.
- If there’s one thing you must avoid it’s over-simplification.
- Double entendres will get you in the end.
- Vagueness is the root of miscommunication, in a sense.
- Don’t bother with those “increase-your-word-power” books that cost an absorbent amount of money.
- Self-contradiction is confusing, and yet strangely enlightening.
- Surrealism without purpose is like fish.
- Ignorance: good writers don’t even know the meaning of the word.
- The spoken word can look strange when written down, I’m afraid.
- Stimpy the Squirrel says “Don’t treat the reader like a little child.”
- Intimidatory writing is for wimps.
- Learn one new maths word every day, and you’ll soon find your vocabulary growing exponentially.
- My old high school English teacher put it perfectly when she said: “Quoting is lazy. Express things in your own words.”
- She also said: “Don’t use that trick of paraphrasing…… [other people's words]…… inside a quote.”
- A lack of compassion in a writer is unforgivable.
- On a scale of 0 to 10, internal consistency is very important.
- Thankfully, by the year 2016 rash predictions will be a thing of the past.
- There is no place for overemphasis, whatsoever.
- Leave out the David Hockney rhyming slang.
- Bad writers are hopefully ashamed of themselves.
- Eschew the highfalutin.
- Sometimes you publish a sentence and then, on reflection, feel that you shouldn’t ought to have been and gone and written it quite that way.
- Practice humility until you feel that you’re really good at it.
